The truth..

         The truth about loving an addict is not pretty. You wake up in the middle of the night wondering if he or she has eaten or is some place warm. While driving by ambulances and or police, you slow down to make sure it’s not your loved one with them. When you hear about an overdose, you make sure it is not he or she who is gone. When they are sleeping, you catch yourself periodically checking in on them, making sure you see their chest rise. You have to lock away anything worth value because they will rob you blind. It’s beyond difficult watching a person who you love so much, transform into a person you don’t even know. You pray day in and day out that they will get help and become clean. Then, when you notice your prayers aren’t getting answered; you start praying they would get arrested. Just so you know they are off the street and no longer has access to the thing that is slowly killing them. You will find yourself not believing anything they have to say to you because you know it’s just a lie. You’ll notice that every conversation with them turns into an argument. Finally, you have to realize that regardless of how bad you want them to get help, they won’t. Not until they want it themselves. 

         Drugs do not discriminate. They do not care who you are, what you are, or if you wanted to try it once. It doesn’t care if you’re a mother, father, sister, son, grandma. It doesn’t matter if youre a teacher, stripper, doctor, student. It doesn’t make a difference. Drugs will slowly but surely tear you away from everyone who has ever once cared about you. 

            Like I said, loving an addict isn’t pretty. But you can’t give up. You have to keep praying. You have to have faith & someday we can get through this. It’s not going to be an easy road to go down, but drugs do not care. But when that person tells you they want help, you have to go immediately. If not, they will change their mind within seconds.   

         Since drug addicts seem to be the topic on most facebooks pages, I decided to share the other side an addict. The side that no one thinks about.  This is not something I’d want anyone to experience. If you know someone who is addicted, please try and talk to them about getting help. And don’t let it kill you. You have to stay strong for your loved one. As hard as it is (trust me I know it’s hard) try to remember that right now, they are not the same person. 

•So please, next time you “judge” an addict, think of who they were before their drug of choice took everything from them.

-R. ❤

Wait for it…

Hi guys, I’m baaaack! Sooner than I thought, but I had some free time so I figured I’d give y’all something to read. In my last blog I stated that I would share more of what it’s like loving a drug addict. I feel that when someone hears about a person being addicted to drugs they only think about that person. I would say they usually think negative about that person. They probably don’t think about why that person started to do drugs, and they typically do not think about how their loved ones feels. Which is exactly why I’m sharing all of this with you. I want to make awareness of how it truly impacts the family and friends. Unfortunately, I’m surrounded by people who let drugs control their life. Well, not surrounded since I distance myself from them, but since I’m talking about my family members, Im surrounded. Here we go:

•The first family member I want to talk about is my father. Due to some injuries from work, he’s had a couple different surgeries and prescribed pain pills. Percocet to be exact. The surgeries really seemed to help my dad. Over the past year or so, he kept getting prescribed Percocet. He said he was still “in a lot of pain”. Now, I don’t doubt that my father has some pain, but I don’t think he is in as much pain as he says he’s in. I always believed my father was taking his medication properly, like he doctor prescribed. Until one day I heard him crushing a pill up and snorting it,while I was waiting for him to come out of the bathroom so I could shower. I’ve heard this more than once. He’s lost some “tools” he uses that I have found and threw out. This is my father. The first guy I have ever loved. My hero. My biggest supporter. The guy who can fix/heal anything.. and I heard him snorting pills…. more than once. On occasions, he’s so messed up he loses his keys, wallet, cell phone, his mind, anything you can think of. He still doesn’t know that I’ve heard him doing that. Of course, I told my mom about what was going on, so she confronted him. His reaction? He is a grown man and if he wants to snort a pill, he will. I’m not dealing with this okay. Like I said, this is my father. He has been there for me with everything. I don’t know how to confront him about this. This one is going to take some time. I’m sorry, but I have no advice for this family member. Oh, I should probably mention, he’s not like this all the time. Just when he gets his script from the doctor or until he runs out of meds. One day I know I will work up the courage to tell him I know what he is doing and ask him to stop.. but until then, I’ll just keep pretending I don’t know what he’s doing.

• I 100% did not think that was going to be so long, and I apologize! My next family member is going to be a real long one (I have a lot to say), so I think I’m going to make that it’s very own post. Sorry guys, you’re going to have to wait for it.

Thank you for reading, and letting me vent to y’all.

Until next time,

-R. ❤

What is this all about?

Hello to whoever is reading this! Thank you so much for stumbling across my blog. Okay, let’s get into what this blog is going to be about and why.

•This blog is going to be place where I can come and talk about what’s going on in life and how it effects me. I’m going to talk about what it is like loving a person(s) who is addicted to drugs. I’m going to share personal experiences, how I deal with it, and how I don’t deal with it.

•Why? Drugs are everywhere and effects everyone. It may not be effecting you personally, but I know yo know someone who is going through. I just want everyone to know THEY ARE NOT ALONE. You may be like me, embarrassed to admit you have someone(s) in your life who is a drug addict. This blog is for you. I wanted share my experiences with you, and hope that someone finds this helpful. I’m also writing this for me. No one in my life besides my boyfriend, aunt, and immediate family knows what I deal with on a daily basis. I’m not personally addicted to drugs nor will I EVER do anything of such(yes I can strongly say this), but I do love more than I family member who is.

My next post is going to go into more of an explanation of whichever family members, what their choice of drug is, and whatever else I may dig into. Check back for that post (COMING VERY SOON)!! Please let me know if you find this helpful. Feel free to share whatever you would like, and please ask question! I will make sure to answer in my next post.

Until next time,

❤ R.

p.s. I choose the name Rfeelingsokay because my first name starts with an R & this is a topic not many people want to share and I want every single person to know feelings R okay. So yes, feelings are okay, and everyone has them. Keep that in mind.

-R.